my runner's digest

every mom should run.

of course, we've all had babies, so one reason to run is to maintain just a little bit of what the good lord gave us. but any normal person will use a workout as a way to rationalize a bit more junk food consumption throughout the day, so staying in shape will become a moot point.

the real reason every mom should run is simple. it's to clear. your. mind. reflect. put words to the feelings you had all the day long when you were to busy to figure out why you were feeling them. running is sometimes the best road to self-awareness.

it doesn't matter how far you run, or how fast you go. i don't go far and i don't go fast. the point of a run is that the second you are let out of the house (yes, "let out of the house"), you get to run. away. the more stressful your day, the faster you run. away from your kids. away from your job. away from your husband. away from your house. away from all the other things you love most dearly but often prove to be most challenging in life.

and the beauty of every run is that at some point, no matter whether it is blocks away or miles away... you turn around. having had the chance to vent to yourself, figure out something in your head, or to tune out to the sound of your iPod, you turn to go back. the greater the resolve you've had, the more excitedly you run back. back towards your kids. towards your work. towards your husband. towards your house. towards all the things that ask the most of you but prove to be the most fulfilling in life.

and because i am SO blessed to spend a few mornings a week running at the lake, the end of every run of late is the chance to shed my shoes, dip my feet in the water, and thank God for the things to which i'm running back.

nonsensicalness (if that's a word)

this morning we reached a new low.

i've previously posted about austin & graham's remarkable ability to argue about nothing. but they have taken to a new level this art of arguing senseless things that can't be reasoned. and they've dragged me down with them.

as we went about making coffee and dressing the boys this morning before taking chris to the train, this argument broke out...

Graham: Dada, look at my gloves! Ooooh, look at my gloves!

Austin: Graham, I'm going to take your gloves. I'm going to take them right. now.

Graham: No, no, deez is MY gloves! Deez is MY gloves!

Austin: I took them! Haha, Graham, I took your gloves! I'm wearing them! Ooo-la-la, I'm wearing your gloves!

Graham (wailing): Noooooooo! Austin took my gloves! Mama, Austin took my gloves!

Me (from the kitchen): Austin, do NOT take Graham's gloves! They are his gloves, do not take them!

Chris (from the bathroom): Babe, there are no gloves. Austin didn't take any gloves. They are fighting over imaginary gloves.

- PERIOD OF SILENCE -

Me: What? Seriously? Graham, there are no freaking gloves. Stop crying. Austin, stop taunting him. Graham, STOP crying, he didn't take your gloves, they are still on you. I see them right here on your hands.

Austin: Oooooh, my hands are so nice and cozy cause I took his gloves.

Graham (wailing in a heap on the floor): He took dem!! He is wearing dem!! Waaaaaaaah!!

seriously?

seriously.

gone fishing

well, we are officially on vacation.

a few weeks into our stay in lake geneva, we have finally hit our stride. we no longer have our bags half-unpacked. we no longer have lingering commitments in the city we are driving back to attend. we are used to chris being gone back in the city a few nights a week, and we are getting used to the pace of life here. it's slow.

so what have we been doing to bide our time?

we've been lingering at the breakfast bar.

and we've been seeing what happens when we blow bubbles into our own faces.

and we've been wearing floppy hats to the beach.

and we've been holding hands with our cousins when they are up at the lake with us.

and we've been berated by lil' miss thang who thinks she was crowned princess of the public library (and is apparently the only one with the right to touch the big, stuffed tiger).

and we've been getting our coffee at a Starbucks where they stop listening to your order two specifications in (so that while my misto is in fact venti and is in fact made with white chocolate syrup, it is never non-fat, never extra hot, and never, ever foamy).

and with more certainty as to where we are living after this summer vacation, mama hill has had more peace of mind. a greater ability to take things in stride. and a sudden realization that this vacation will be over before i know it. it's time to soak it in.

and thus prompts the question: after all this where will we be living? with great excitement and a sense of peace only God can provide we've decided on home, sweet home, chicago. so, windy city, we'll see you again in august!

father's day

i felt a little bad about father's day this year.

usually, in our house, mother's day is a day off from motherly duties and father's day is a day off from fatherly duties. this year, however, was a little different. all hands were on deck. carter has still been waking 3 times a night and chris had to take at least one turn getting up with him. plus, we had a gorgeous wedding of some dear friends and chris was an usher.... meaning i'd watch the boys as much as possible, but chris was going to have to take his turn watching the boys so i could get ready.

then we went to brunch. we (like most people going to brunch) had to wait 45 minutes for a table and another hour for our food. here is austin entertaining us while we waited.... and graham enjoying his cold green eggs & ham.

plus, we got him a gift. a painting. but it was clear he didn't love it. as he will tell you, he doesn't hate it. hmmmm. at least i know my husband is going to be honest with me.

and after all that... the ONE gift i knew he would love was stuck on my computer. which had crashed. so after 3 hours spent on the phone with apple care (all while chris was completing fatherly duties) it was time to leave for the wedding and chris had had a totally stressful day full of fatherly duties and completely lacking in decent gifts.

i spent another few hours on the phone with apple care this morning so finally we could give him a father's day present he will appreciate....

if mama ain't happy...

one evening not too long ago, as we sat in bed reading, chris shared a bible verse with me that was obviously dear to him. he read aloud to me from the second chapter of proverbs…

"a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day."

haha. we laugh together. good thing chris doesn't have one of those for a wife! no, no, we have a good marriage. we are happy. blessed. that verse was clearly written for someone else.

fast forward a few months.

having been deprived of sleep for going on 3.5 months now, i hear my voice sounding all too often like a constant dripping. i am crabby. austin and graham are sleep deprived as well. and crabby. and our trips to target looks like this.

you can't see me, but i am crying, too.

we know how challenging life can be with a newborn, so i don't know why we are caught off guard each time.

the story is always the same. chris & lauren have a baby. chris & lauren are so happy with their precious angel. chris takes his turns getting up with the baby. family and friends visit and bring meals. and everyone loves the baby. weeks pass. baby is still not sleeping. but we shrug, laugh about skipping showers, and coo at the baby. months pass. baby is still not sleeping. the adrenaline surrounding a new baby has worn off. chris is tired at work and no longer wants to get up. lauren is tired and can't nap. no longer is anyone bringing meals, no longer is family is offering to come help while we nap, and we no longer think it funny that we can't get a shower. and the baby is. still. crying.

but with or without a good night's rest, it is no excuse to be a dripping faucet. getting through the challenges of life with joy are what separates the good, the bad, and the ugly. because taking joy in life is a woman's best cosmetic. ~Rosalind Russell

this period of sleepless will pass. and if it takes years, everywhere i look are three very. big. reasons. to choose joy.

and within another year or two we'll have entirely forgotten the challenges of infant. and the chances are good that we'll want a baby. again.

a day at the friendly confines

we spent saturday watching chris play baseball. on wrigley field. a creative company-sponsored event resulted in this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity as chris took the field, was given an authentic jersey, and was announced every time he batted. and i got to enjoy the cleanest and emptiest bathrooms i've ever seen at wrigley.

i usually have a great deal of faith in my husband. but on this day, i was admittedly nervous for him. i offered to take his place. i reminded him that i've played softball my entire life and as the catcher, was voted MVP every year i played in high school. he laughed and called me a derogatory slur i won't paste on our little family blog.

the boys and i sat in the empty stands while vendors brought us free snacks. and beers. we brought our own milk.

after the game they invited us out to run the bases... and take some pics out by the ivy.

and while chris was not voted MVP.... i did hear someone in the stands say, "i think that chris hill guy should have gotten MVP." which, in my book, will be considered an honorary mention.

updating my resume

this morning i ran into a friend from law school. it was good to catch up. was she still working? no, she had tried to work part-time after having her son and realized she couldn't be good at both her job and being a mom. would she go back? she'd hope, but probably not since she planned to be home for a few years and her legal experience would stale.

it got me thinking. being a mom is the most challenging job on the planet, so why is it that moms out of the workforce for a few years are considered lacking in experience?

i have a mom friend (who will remain nameless) who, instead of stopping her car with toddlers while on a road trip, made the decision to preserve their sanity, be on time to their destination, and make any sacrifice necessary to do so. so instead of stopping at a restroom and waking her children, she took one for the team. she grabbed her child's diaper from the back seat and peed in it while she kept driving. now that is commitment. that is drive. that is a woman marked for success.

being a mom has been the most challenging few years of my life. but if i were to go back to work, what could i claim as my experience for the past few years? if i were to update my resume, i don't know that anyone would hire me. i know i have been challenged and stretched by every single day of motherhood, but on a resume these things look rather silly...

it doesn't matter. as soon as my last little guy is in school, i am going to start a company. and i have no idea what the company will do but it doesn't even matter what we do because we will be a huge success. i am only going to hire moms returning to work. moms who know how to juggle the most stressful circumstances. moms who are always equipped for unfathomable emergencies. moms who know how to develop ingenious solutions for the crazy curveballs thrown during childrearing. and mark my words... as soon as i figure out what this company will do, we will have the most powerful workforce imaginable and we WILL. be. a. huge. success.

ONLY RESUMES THAT HAVE EXPERIENCE AKIN TO THAT DESCRIBED BELOW WILL BE ACCEPTED.

(disclaimer: you might be thinking to yourself, "wow, lauren has way too much time on her hands." unfortunately, that is not the case. otherwise, i'd have showered this morning. there simply is no explanation for me taking the time to write this out except to show chris, once again, that my days are much harder than his.)

LAUREN A. HILL

http://lilhillfam.blogspot.com/

___________________________________________________________________

Baby Mama, September 2007 to March 2009

· Successfully executed the “pee-while-holding-an-infant” maneuver in port-a-potties and other revolting restrooms

· Developed and implemented training to prevent my toddler from sticking his hands down the back of his pants or saying “nipple” in public

· Participated in various aspects of complex snack request negotiations, successfully labeling graham crackers as “cookies” and fruit flavored water as “juice”

· Coordinated and collaborated to change “up-the-back” diapers without leaving airplane seats

Mama to Two, March 2009 to February 2011

· Analyzed and assessed arguments of opposing toddlers to adjudicate who should get which one of two identical toys

· Appointed Chief Home Officer (CHO) by a mocking husband who likes delegating annoying administrative tasks

· Gained proficient knowledge of Buzz Lightyear’s abilities and limitations so as to avoid being publicly ridiculed by a toddler

·Regularly maneuvered an SUV on the highway while attached to a breast pump and and fielding honks and shouts from passing truck drivers

Chief Home Operator, February 2011 to Present

· Successfully held an infant in the Rainforest Cafe restroom while aiding a pooping toddler and keeping a second toddler from touching the feminine product depository with his mouth

· Mediated arguments between toddlers as to whether we would buy the regular Goldfish or rainbow Goldfish

· Facilitated training to prevent a toddler from asking outside every public restroom, “Hey mom, do you need to go pee or poop?”

sleep deprived

people who say that they sleep like a baby don't have one.

this morning i awoke with 3 boys in my bed. and none of them were named chris.

i started in bed alone but at about 12:30am i was joined by carter. graham woke up in his own bed and had me lay by him several times before he joined me in bed at 3:00am. then austin came to join the party at about 4:45am. and i've been awake ever since.

this sleepless night comes after austin's nose bleed the night before. and graham's nose bleed the night before that. oh, and then the 3 months of sleeplessness with a newborn before that.

after a night like last, my first inclination is to be annoyed. but on this morning i am going to do my best to choose joy. ask God why he didn't create little boys with snooze buttons. make coffee and count my blessings.

like happy boys.

and a healthy, chubby baby.

and a husband who likes to make all of them laugh.

while all i want to do is crawl back in bed, i'm going to try to suck it up and not drag.

and pray that they all nap.

where there is a will...

this week has been pretty dull. in a good way. i looked at my calendar at the end of memorial day weekend and was reminded, duh, i don't have a life right now. so why would i have anything on my calendar? i had planned for this moment for as long as i can remember. a summer with no work, no doctor's appointments, and even no lunch or coffee dates with friends that i cherish so much. so for the first time in a long time... i felt truly free to get bored with my boys.

first, we went for a run.

i told chris i went for a run and he was confused because we have 3 boys and a double stroller. so i explained that i left austin home since he's so good as using my iphone. after he believed me (sort of reflecting poorly on me as a mom) he didn't so much mind the fact that after the stroller filled, i just starting throwing boys on top of it.

this picture is called "where there is a will, there is a way."

we also went to the pool. on a day it was supposed to rain. we had nowhere else to be, so i figured, who cares if it rains... we'll just leave. instead we had the entire pool to ourselves on an absolutely gorgeous warm and partly sunny morning.

i went to a night cubs game with chris. i watched a little day time television. we went to petsmart just to watch the fish. i went to starbucks without rushing my boys to get in and out as quickly as possible.

we got pajamas on while it was still light and then went outside to eat ice cream and hit golf balls.

i could get used to this pace of life...

at least until next week.